Your physical constitution is an important player in the compatibility of your relationships. The doshas (invisible forces responsible for all biological and physiological functions in the mind and body) are always ebbing and flowing within you, affecting the people around you and the quality of your interactions. How do the doshas relate to each other, and what are the tendencies of the inter-relation of your doshic constitution with others?
Generally speaking, like doshas attract like. Unlike doshas can complement each other – when balanced. To know a little more, read on. To know a lot more, find out what your doshic makeup is (if you don’t already know) by taking this simple online test, or contact us to schedule an Ayurvedic Consultation.
Creative, expressive and fast-moving Vata people require equilibrium and relaxation. If they are already balanced and relaxed, two Vata people can be ideal stimulating company for one another. If they are both out of balance and over-stimulated, two Vatas will tend to send one another over the edge.
The fiery and intense Pitta requires a challenge. If they have learned to pace their appetites, two Pitta people might form an amazingly creative partnership – identifying an external challenge to tackle together. Two unbalanced Pittas, however, will be Hitler and Mussolini to each other: both fronting and posturing, one resenting that the other is the stronger or in control. Unbalanced Pittas are each other’s challenge.
The soft, sweet and nurturing people of the Kapha nature need motivation and stimulation. If they have both embarked on a program of healthy habits, two Kaphas can provide for each other the gentle reminders they need to stay on track. Two unreconstructed kapha’s, however, will reinforce their mutual natural tendencies to sloth, and mutually go to seed.
Pittas tend to rule a relationship; Kaphas tend to submit to promote harmony; Vatas are unpredictable, sometimes submitting and sometimes seeking to be assertive. Combine two different people together, and their doshas will mix it up, vying for supremacy as doshas do within the confines of any living being. Most people are bi-doshic; which makes the permutations all the more confusing and amusing. For instance, John’s pitta is inflamed today after Mary’s vata over-stimulated his kapha yesterday, and now he is trying to prevail upon her to renegotiate the agreement that her pitta got her a better deal on a few days back, when his kapha was projecting a spirit of compromise. One way to approach this problem, which exists for everyone in every sort of relationship, is to pay close attention to your doshas and to the doshas of the people with whom you relate. Then you can learn to register where you and they are in the doshic spectrum of behaviour and calibrate yourself accordingly.
Ayurveda offers profound tools that can help illuminate the behavior of the people around you in ways that free you to relate in kinder gentler ways (ideally, kinder and gentler for them and you). In addition to offering intellectual ways of understanding self, others and relationship, Ayurveda also teaches techniques that can help you regularly ground and center yourself. This allows you to go within to find some of the love, affection and validation that you require for balance. Soon you will find yourself so overflowing with harmony that you will begin to attract others to you; people who find that they feel a little better, a little calmer when they sit in your presence. Then you are in the service of nature, helping to change your corner of the world by channeling her sweetness into it.
From an Ayurvedic perspective, personal balance is one of the most important contributors to balanced interpersonal relationship. The ancient maxim “Know Thyself” – inscribed into the forecourt of the ancient Greek Temple of Apollo at Delphi and into the inner sanctum of the ancient Egyptian Temple of Luxor – echoes throughout history and human evolution as excellent advice. Knowing your doshic makeup empowers you to understand yourself more intimately and to answer the call of your unique constitutional needs accurately so that you can more easily achieve well being.
When it comes to love of any kind – be it self-love, romantic, platonic, familial, maternal, paternal – the key to harmony lies in the foundation of your relationship with yourself and with nature. Integrating the principles of the Science of Ayurveda tunes you to harmonize lovingly with the world around you and the people and experiences it offers up.
Happy Valentine’s Day from VitalLiving. We wish you fair winds as you navigate the vast Sea of Love!